Changing the Way you Think about Others

Nithya Shanti: I share many different things. It’s something like a buffet, because different strokes for different folks. Different people need different things at different points in their life but if it really connects, if it makes sense, and you commit yourself to it, it becomes a part of your life then that’s always available to you.

Fran Cherny: That’s something that I learn a lot working with you that is making things available and people choosing what’s going to work for them. I’m thinking also as a business leader and for the business leaders we work with, how sometimes we get into, this is the way to do it, do it this way, instead of saying, “These are all the possibilities, there are all the resources you have, choose what’s gonna be the best way for you to get what we need.” So, I can see a connection there between as being leaders who are providing resources and possibilities and not just the way.

Nithya Shanti: Exactly. And also implies trust. You’re trusting that everyone has wisdom. You don’t with the assumption that people don’t know, let me tell them. Everyone has got wisdom and you can definitely share the best of what you know and then trust that each one will find their own way. It’s also called the Pygmalion effect, that what you expect is what you get. If you expect people, “Oh, they don’t know unless I tell them down to the basic they’ll never do it.” This doesn’t bring out the best in people. If you trust everyone’s capable, everyone has a lot of life experience … In fact, everyone who does work has a very amazing story. If you slow down and listen to people’s stories, you’d be amazed. Everyone, even the ordinary person in your office, seemingly ordinary person who’s seen serving coffee, you sit down and listen to their journey, they’ve probably been on an amazing journey.

Nithya Shanti: So, we start trusting the wisdom of people, and this creates a wonderful atmosphere and we learn from each other. Everyone learns from each other, not just the teacher teaching everybody. Everybody learns from each other.