Tag: resilience

Return to the new normal: Leader’s top of mind. What do you think the new normal is going to look like for you?Axialent recently hosted a live debate, Return to the new normal: Leader’s top of mind, featuring Oseas Ramirez, corporate innovation advisor and keynote speaker to Fortune 500 companies, startup founder, and board member in several organizations, and Thierry De Beyssac, business cultural transformation expert and former CEO in 12 countries. The two explored and debated global organizations’ leaders’ top of mind topics and how to prepare for the “new normal”.   
The live webinar covered three pressing questions:
 

What do you think the “new normal” is going to look like?

  • The “new normal” won’t look the same for every person, company, and country and each one might experience their “new normal” on a different timeline, as situations progress differently worldwide. 
  • It will be important to manage your organizational trauma to recover your people’s engagement and help them be able to perform at their best. 
  • We have proved we can be resilient by making fast changes during this crisis. Now, how can we replicate it in a sustainable “new normal” way?  
  • Fast-tracked innovation projects are now the new internal benchmark. 
  • We need to be agile, not just do agile: attitude does matter. 

 

What challenges and opportunities do you see now emerging from this crisis?

  • Never let a good crisis go to waste. There is an opportunity to reshape your organizational culture, review your purpose, and operating model.  Do it quicker and deeper.  
  • Disruption is a fantastic window of opportunity to work on self-empowerment, to redesign ourselves, and to review mindsets and corresponding habits. 

 

What is the implication of this new normal at a leader’s personal level?

  • Be a permanent LEARNER and develop yourself as a coaching leader. Invest at least half to a full day of your time on it every week.  
  • As a leader, you have a professional responsibility to take care of yourself personally. Not 
    practicing basic sleep and healthy nutrition routines can make cognitive capacity decline, which in turn can, make the quality of decisions suffer. 

To view the full webinar discussion between our experts, Oseas and Thierry, please click here to watch the video.  

In Fran Cherny and Thierry De Beyssac’s article, Survivor Syndrome: Overcoming Organizational Trauma in Times of Crisis, they mention “meeting people where they are” as a way of helping your organization navigate this difficult time. What does it mean to “meet people where they are?” Why it is important?  
In life, we are all seeking experiences that make us feel good, loved, and give us a sense of belonging. We crave connection. The workplace, in any format, is not the exception. According to Forbes Magazine†, on average, we invest a little less than half our time at work in meetings, interacting with colleagues. There are plenty of opportunities to build connection and strong, trusting relationships, and yet, often we feel disconnected and sense a lack of belonging. 
Survivor Syndrome: Building Bridges and meeting people where they are. Two hands, one on either side of a pane of glass in a windowMoreover, during difficult times and crises in an organization, leaders tend to focus all their energy in trying to survive and keep the business going; learning to transform the business while running the business. Relationships are sometimes overlooked, and connection is postponed for “when the right time comes.”
In Axialent, we believe that what we do as leaders shapes our organizational culture and how we choose to respond during crisis is what makes the difference.  
Responding to the challenge in a constructive way and supporting people to be at their best will help organizations grow their power of adaptability and resilience: two things we all need desperately, now more than ever. 
 

Building connections and meeting people where they are is a step toward supporting people to be at their best

So, if “meeting people where they are” makes us feel loved and valued and can help us thrive, why do we often experience disconnection or misunderstandings instead? 
It turns out we can find it difficult to connect with others: 

  • It takes work and energy: Empathy is hard work. According to the American Psychological Association‡, people sometimes choose to avoid empathy because of mental effort it requires. 
  • It can be painful / uncomfortable to see people we love & care for suffer: We want to save people from suffering. We cannot “spare people from living the process.” The only way out is through.
  • We get frustrated and anxious for the time it takes to walk the journey: We sometimes feel that talking about what has happened is not the best investment of our time, and it’s frustrating. “Let’s go into solution mode NOW!”  
  • Knower Energy: We believe we know what needs to be done, what’s best for the other person and what needs to happen. “How can they not see it? It’s so clear!” 
  • Our own judgment: We experience disappointment when we feel that things or people are not being good enough. We put our own expectations on others. 
  • It’s challenging to look inward at ourselves to a place where we can connect and resonate with others’ pain and experiences. We are not always willing to do it.  

 

Building bridges

So, how can we increase our connection to build bridges and “meet people where they are?”

  • Self-connection: Be aware of your own stories and emotions toward the situation. Clarify your own intentions. How is this situation making me feel? What is the story I am telling myself? How would I like to help others? What would make me feel proud, despite the results?
  • Acceptance: Whatever it is, is enough. Let go of any expectations of how things should be or how people should react. We are all in our own journey and the time it takes for each of us to process what is happening is the time each of us need.
  • Hold the space for others: Be fully present with your energy, intention, and attention. Create a safe space for people to share their own stories, without fear of negative consequences. Let people know you are in this together.
  • See people with kind eyes: Tap into your empathy and compassion. We are all doing our best to deal with our own challenges. It’s ok to feel whatever each of us is feeling. Be at their service, assume good intent, and seek to understand others’ perspectives and beliefs with genuine curiosity.
  • Help people get unstuck: The way we see the problem is the problem. Challenge people’s beliefs by offering alternative perspectives and support them in creating new possibilities for their business, their relationships, and their lives.
  • Invite people to move forward: Create a compelling and inspiring vision for people to join you and reduce the exit barriers for people wanting to leave.
  • Be the change you want to see in the world: Lead your team by example by demonstrating the standards (behaviors) you would like to see in others.

 
Reaching out and offering our helping hands with the sole intention of supporting each other is the way we, at Axialent, choose to respond.
 
† “Just Say No: How Your Meeting Habit Is Harming You” Forbes.com, 8 August 2013
‡ “Empathy Often Avoided Because of Mental Effort” apa.org, 22 April 2019

In a recent article, my colleagues Fran Cherny and Thierry De Beyssac offered some thoughts on Survivor Syndrome; how the present challenges have the potential to create organizational trauma affecting all the dimensions of business and how to better cope with this. They offer in their article a list of actions to help and support your employees as we move through this time together. The first on the list being: “to put things on the table.” What does it mean to “put things on the table?” What can I do differently to help myself and others around me during this difficult time?
What does it mean to “put things on the table?”
The emotions that are triggered in us by a world in constant “VUCA Reloaded Mode” may put us in a place that oscillates between harmful repression and brutal explosion. Anger, for example, permeates openly or simmers under the surface. As we speak to colleagues, friends or family members, it can almost tele-transport itself across remote devices. I like to say that as long as the emotion “has you,” you have no choice. You will do whatever the emotion does, only to regret it later. You will say things that hurt others, make promises that are impossible to deliver… you name it.
I like to offer to my clients the following concept: “the only way out is through.” In order to put things on the table, you must enter a space of higher wisdom and compassion.
 

You do that by:

  1. Taking a few deep breaths of awareness: You separate yourself from the story. It becomes “you have the emotion,” rather than “the emotion has you.” You take perspective of your thoughts. The “I” (the person) that has the thought is NOT the thought. I feel angry, rather than I am angry.
  2. Accepting the emotion unconditionally: Realize that the emotion makes perfect sense, given the story you are telling yourself.
  3. Analyzing the story behind the emotion: Every emotion has an archetypal story. For example, anger or frustration has the story: “something bad is happening and it should not be happening.”
  4. Expressing your thoughts and ideas from a place of tentativeness and humility: As you engage in conversations with your colleagues or leaders about what is going on, you adopt the perspective of good intent from everyone. Even when you don’t understand what is going on, you assume that the people in charge of calling the shots have everyone’s interest at heart.
  5. Inquiring about the thoughts and ideas of others from a place of wanting to learn, of curiosity: The combination of 4 and 5 creates the conversational dance where any topic can be addressed or put on the table.

 

Put things on the table

Working through steps 1-3 are paramount if you would like to have a constructive conversation. Taking these steps will set the conditions for the kind of conversation you want to have. The promise is that you will be better able to understand each other. And then make better and informed decisions, for the good of the business, the team and yourself. Being able to address difficult topics in an open, caring and compassionate way is a powerful way to increase connection among your employees in these difficult times.

Quote from James Anthony Froude "You cannot dream yourself into a character,; you must forge and hammer yourself one." Never let a good crisis go to waste.
In the first post of this series, I shared an anecdote of how I once heard an executive in the US say “Never let a good crisis go to waste”. On the second post, we briefly explored some ideas about how the crisis and how we respond to it might have a long-lasting effect, with downstream effects impacting our character. In this post, I would like to share some thoughts on how a practice of empathy and gratitude can be a character-building ‘workout’.
As the pandemic continues to wreak havoc in our healthcare and economic systems at the macro-level, the downstream impacts it has on our lives are extremely varied. However, it is difficult to keep in mind the different impact ‘modalities’ it has. The conversations, articles, podcasts, news, etc. from the last weeks have gotten me thinking about the different realities people are experiencing – and it’s prompted me both to empathize more and be grateful for my own situation (still working on it!). We can look at some of these different realities through a large number of different ‘lenses’ or perspectives to help with the mental and emotional exercise. Let’s start with the lens of work situation by looking at a very very high level way of grouping different types of work circumstances many of us are facing right now.

Knowledge / remote workers

This is a segment of the population in many countries that has the great fortune of being able to continue their work from home. Some were already doing it before the crisis, but many people in several countries are now full-time remote workers, for the first time. Those who had not worked remotely before might be struggling with the basics: i.e. setting up a proper physical space, improving their setup to have proper internet connectivity (have you been on a videoconference recently where someone is struggling to get good wifi signal inside their house?), proper headset, etc. For some others, the challange might be not only the setup, but also the learning curve to work remotely: I’ve heard from many of our clients how they have struggled to teach their people how to work remotely overnight, with some even paying online courses to teach their workforce how to operate in this environment. There are some others who now struggle to manage a workforce which became a distributed one overnight.
On top of this we can layer other type of complications – a Wall Street firm HR Director recently shared with me a situation they are facing with their younger workers. Many of them might find themselves working out of a densely populated urban area in which they live with roommates in a small space (think NY or San Francisco, for example). In their small apartments, they might not even have a suitable space to camp out with their laptop and take a call, or said space is not enough to have all roommates trying to do it simultaneously. Others might find themselves locked in their house with their kids running around with no school – trying now to double not only as remote workers but as homeschool teachers. I have heard hundreds of variants of this type of situation, but even though it is undeniably disruptive and stressful, it is a great situation to be in, especially if we consider others.

Still with a job, risking it

There are many others who are fortunate enough to still have a job, but it can’t be performed remotely, and it needs to be performed. Thousands of healthcare workers (facing greater risks than anyone), bank branch employees, supermarket employees, essential service provider workers (water, electricity, internet) among many others. They not only have to deal with potentially having their kids at home, but to continue performing their job – and essentially doing it knowing that everyday that passes they risk contagion, with all the uncertainty that comes with it. “Will I get mild symptoms or end in the hospital? Can I pass it on to my kids and or older relatives living with us?” are thoughts we all might have, but I can only imagine the way they are amplified for those having to leave home everyday to go to work.

Now unemployed – and unprotected

Then we have millions who are now (or about to be) unemployed… and depending on which country they are in, and their situation, this can be a downward spiral with potential ramifications worse than the virus’ most common course. A startup CEO in Mexico recently told me “in my country, poverty will kill more people than the virus”. There are billions of people who live either under the poverty line, or who barely surpass it yet require income on a daily or weekly basis to survive. An interruption in income of a few days can mean they can’t pay rent or other essential expenses. Losing employment can mean they lose their medical insurance, whether private or public…

Other lenses

Sickness and death is yet another lens through which we can try to empathize. Both can touch us all – whether we live in the 1% strata or live in poverty, employed or unemployed, no one is immune to this. We’ve heard about infected (and recently dead) royals and celebrities all the way to the mass graves for the less fortunate ones.
There are additional, countless lenses through which we can try to empathize with others during these times: age (i.e. older people seem to have higher mortality rates), having access or not to testing and healthcare if needed, being able to take care of oneself even for basic chores like shopping, the political situation of where you live (those under totalitarian regimes might be on slippery slope to lose even more freedom), etc.
Whatever the lenses we choose to practice empathy, they can be helpful to get some understanding of what others are living during this crisis. If you are reading this, there is a very reasonable chance you are in one of the more fortunate situations: hopefully you have the financial means to weather this storm out, or you still have a job you can do remotely. If this is the case, remember, even if you are experiencing hardships, count your blessings: there are probably millions who would see your current situation as an answer to their prayers, if they could switch places with you today. Realizing that can help put things in perspective – and it’s one of many ways in which we can individually do our work to avoid letting this crisis go to waste.
 
First published in LinkedIn 

Marcus Aurelius quote "It can ruin your life only if it ruins your character. Otherwise, it cannot harm you - inside or out." Never let a good crisis go to waste: Part 2 - Who do you want to become? Crises as opportunities to (re)build our character.

Marcus Aurelius quote "It can ruin your life only if it ruins your character. Otherwise, it cannot harm you - inside or out." Never let a good crisis go to waste: Part 2 - Who do you want to become? Crises as opportunities to (re)build our character.
It can ruin your life only if it ruins your character. Otherwise it cannot harm you — inside or out. Marcus Aurelius
One of the most tangible aspects of a crisis like the one we are living is the material damage it causes: sickness, death, lost jobs, etc. There is, however, a less tangible but also very important dimension: the net balance a crisis has on our character as individuals, and the overall impact on society as a whole stemming from this.
Many phrases such as ‘adversity reveals character’, or variants of it, seem to indicate that a crisis will bring out who we truly are – and in many cases this won’t be a pretty sight. For example, in the current SARS-CoV-2 pandemic we can find dozens of stories of people who are taking advantage of the situation for their own benefit.
The flip side to this is seeing others rise to the occasion. Every tragedy brings its host of heroes, even if most of them remain unknown. Think of the first responders during 9/11, firefighters and others helping people out of crumbled buildings during an earthquake, rescue personnel saving people during floods – or, right now, thousands of healthcare workers, law enforcement personnel, food supply chain workers and countless others who are risking their lives for others.

The opportunities

We see responses ranging from the vile to the heroic and everything in between. This, however, does not prove that the type of responses we see is an inevitable result of a crisis ‘revealing the true colors of individuals’. Even under the most dire of circumstances, we all still have a choice. In other words, critical situations highly correlate with individuals showing more of who they are, but it does not invariably cause it. This might seem like word play from someone with nothing better to do than playing semantics, yet the implications are deeply profound.
Circumstances do not force me into acting one way or another (for better or worse) – I still have a choice. And what I choose has an impact on my character, every single time. Given that crises confront us with an abnormally high number of choices to make every day, we are basically on an accelerated path to build or destroy our character – and we do not have the option of choosing not to be on this path. Either by action or inaction we are doing something to our character. We are much better off by becoming aware of this and improving our choices every day.
Let’s look at this at different levels to illustrate:

At a personal level

A crisis is a perfect (and unavoidable) daily practice of how we react in the face of stress. It is an emotional gym that gives us the opportunity to ‘put in our reps’ every day. Pandemic panic shopping is making it increasingly hard to find vital supplies? This is a text-book definition of a situation to be legitimately stressed about: it can kickstart a downward spiral of fear, horror, self-pity, anger.
It’s also an opportunity to practice how to refocus my mind on what I can control and operate in that space, as limited as it might be: first rep of the day. Kids running around the house with no school – while trying to take a conference call? Check, that is very stressing – how am I going to respond to this? Second rep of the day. Sales projections are down? Third rep of the day: practice how I will manage my stress. You get the picture.
The difference with a physical gym is that here we don’t have the alternative to skip it: we are in it, and we will be putting in our reps. They can be reps in which we practice how to get more stressed, angrier, fearful… or they can be reps in which we try to give the best response we humanly can to every prompt. Every choice we make to every one of these prompts, every one of our responses, is a character building block.

At a relationship and / or family level

The lockdown half of the world is currently experiencing has resulted, amongst other things, in an impact to our relationships and / or family life. Young couples who are now living together out of necessity. Families with several generations living under the same roof while weathering out the situation. Couples in the process of getting divorced having to share the same living space, as their separation proceedings slow down or are temporarily halted. Death of loved ones. Families losing the income of one or both parents. Kids homeschooling putting an additional strain on family dynamics. Many of these scenarios can be stressing, depressing, anxiety-inducing, or worse.
If your specific current set of circumstances has made your life more complicated, how are you responding to it? Note that the question is responding to it, not how did you respond to it? This means that you have responded to it, you are still doing it, and more likely you will keep on doing it for the days and weeks and maybe months ahead. Is there a way to respond to it better? Can you address the content of the challenge (tension, grief, whatever it might be) with a better grip on your emotional response? Can you recognize the emotion in the situation, acknowledge it, but not be controlled by it?
The harder our circumstances, the harder choosing to respond to them in a constructive way can be – yet, like most other things in life, practice helps. And every day we have the opportunity to practice a better response. That practice is a way to improve our character. We’re already at the gym: might as well put in the work to come out of this stronger.

Never let a good crisis go to waste

This brings us back to the beginning. Crises bring about painful, tangible consequences. Thousands of us will not survive this pandemic – yet most will. The tragedy and grief that we have and will have for those dying is here and will be here. Let us not add to this tragedy by also losing vast amounts of human quality with the survivors’ characters deterioritating. Instead, let’s honor the departed by becoming a better version of ourselves for now and the times to come. 

In the summer of 2017, I became one of eight. In the US, one in eight women will get diagnosed with breast cancer and I was now one of them. At age 40, I was diagnosed with Stage 2 breast cancer.
Life changes dramatically when you’re diagnosed with breast cancer. Suddenly you go from joyfully going about your life to being faced with your own mortality. In the blink of an eye, you are on board a frightening roller-coaster ride and you have no idea how or when it will end.
In just a few weeks, I had to make decisions that impacted directly on the rest of my life. And fighting this awful illness taught me priceless skills.
 
Seek input and advice
I am not a cancer expert. Before I was diagnosed, I didn’t have the slightest notion of what having cancer even means. I researched online, consulted with doctors, friends and others to make the most informed decision possible. When you’re faced with making life altering decisions, you need to rely on input from others.
As a leader, you have a great amount of knowledge, but you cannot be an expert on everything. You need those around you to help you make a more informed decision. Be curious about what you might be missing. Include your team, peers and others in big decisions. Operating in a silo can be detrimental to your business because you set yourself up to miss ideas and solutions you cannot see yet.
At the same time, being curious will help your team feel more included and feel like they are a part of the decisions you make. This, in turn, will create more ownership and will increase your likelihood of success.
 
Be present
Life is precious. A statement you hear often, but it becomes much more real if you understand that your life could end sooner than you anticipate. The average person is probably not thinking about when they’re going to die. As a cancer patient, it is very easy to get caught in the stories of your mind. What if I die? What if chemo doesn’t work? What if the cancer comes back? I had such a nice life, now my life will never be the same. All those statements are either contemplating the future or reminiscing about the past. What they’re not focusing on, is the here and now. If you get caught up in your stories, you miss out on what is right in front of you. Appreciate what’s happening in the present moment. Savor every moment with your family and friends. Appreciate your surroundings, the weather and nature. Feel the sun on your skin, the sand between your toes. I would ask myself on a daily basis if I was being present and in the moment, and if I was stuck in the past or future I would redirect myself to the present. It requires constant practice, but it continues to make my life so much richer.
Applying presence to your interactions with your team, employees and family can change the way you work. Have you ever been in a meeting where you felt like you were really heard? What did that feel like? It was probably because the other person gave you their full attention. Being present goes beyond just listening. You need to be tuned in to the other person. What are the non-verbal cues they transmit? Can you stay in the moment, and not let your mind wander to the next meeting or the previous meeting you were in? Listening to your breath and observing your body can quickly connect you to the present. Do you feel the ground under your feet supporting you, or the warmth of the sun coming through the window?
 
Positive attitude
I made a conscious choice to not let cancer consume my life. I accepted that it is now part of who I am and always will be. I did not want to become the disease. This was something I observed while in the hospital with other patients. They would be so down and negative. I decided that was not going to be me. I’m a strong believer in positive psychology and that the positive energy you put out in the universe will support you. I was going to do everything in my power to beat this disease. Even if it doesn’t work out in the end, I can be at peace that I did everything I could control. It’s all in the attitude. It’s not easy to remain positive at all times, but you can choose not to let negativity encroach on your life.
There is a lot of negativity in the work place. Disengaged employees, upset customers, company results not meeting expectations and many more. As a leader, you have a great responsibility to remain positive and look at each obstacle with a glass half full attitude. I do not mean the cheerleader who is rah rah-ing, but a leader who can change their mindset and look at things from a positive angle, even if the circumstances themselves might not be positive. This requires a leader who understands that what you can control is only how you respond to a situation, instead of letting the situation control you. Who do you choose to be?
 
Self-care
You might be surprised, but self-care is not implied when facing cancer. You are on the hamster wheel of continuous doctor’s appointments, treatments and managing side effects. You cannot simply take a day off from cancer. I decided that cancer was not going to consume my life and I tried to keep my life as normal and as regular as possible. This included going on the cruise I had already booked in the middle of my chemotherapy (with the doctor’s permission, of course). I love to travel and discover the world, and this is something that allows me to disconnect from my day to day. So when I had the opportunity to travel, I did. It took my mind off the daily trips to the hospital for a little while. It allowed me to recharge. Self-care also includes saying no to friends and family when they want to meet up, go out or come by. You are not being selfish or rude. Healing from cancer takes a great deal of effort and you are the number one priority. You need to put yourself first.
I learned that there is more to life than work. Before cancer, I would often prioritize work over other things, including my husband and family. Work is only a part of life and although it might, at the surface, seem that work is the most important. I can tell you, it’s not. I’m not saying you need to stop working the way you are, but maybe consider where it is on the priority list of your life. Are you prioritizing staying late at the office over dinner with your partner? What would it take to say no to a last-minute request that would require you to work on the weekend? Do you check the perceived urgency of a request? Self-care is about creating boundaries. It will take some time to set those boundaries. It’s not going to happen overnight, but little by little, you can control how you are spending your time and with whom. Remember, you are a leader in your organization and your employees and teams follow your lead. If you respond to emails on the weekend, they will feel the need to do the same.
 
Take responsibility for what is in your control
I discovered that there are a lot of possibilities for how to experience cancer treatment. You can choose to follow along with the process and let it all happen or take control and manage your disease.
From the get go, I wanted to make sure I had the right doctors for me. We went into each doctor’s appointment with an interview mindset. How do I feel about this doctor? Are they taking their time with me? Are they creating a connection with me or am I just a number on a chart? Taking this stance created a real sense of control. I didn’t feel comfortable with all my doctors, so I worked with the insurance provider to find another one.
Another example was during the chemotherapy I discovered that you are assigned a random nurse every week or treatment round. I could have just gone along with this process. Instead, I asked to be assigned the same nurse whenever possible and this was not a problem at all. It made my treatment experience so much better. We created a routine that made it much easier for both of us.
Are there any skills, abilities, attitudes, capabilities, anything you want or need to improve? What if you create a list of those things? What would you include? Go one by one and reflect on each. Which of those are under your control and which are not? By being in control I mean that you, as a leader, can intervene and modify the situation instead of one that you cannot change (e.g. economic crisis). If you have the right mental model you’ll realize that there are a lot of things that you can change. For example, an employee on your team who is underperforming. Have you done something to improve the employee’s performance? An option could be to sit down with them and explain what are your expectations and for them to understand what they can do to deliver better results. Are they even aware they are not performing as expected? Have you done as much as you can to support them to reach their performance potential? These things are under your control.
As I mentioned previously, there’re also things beyond your control, what do you do with those? Blaming the outside could make you right, but will leaves you impotent or unable to intervene or change any situation, it’s like waiting for the external factors to decide for you. Remember, you can always chose how to respond to any situation. The question is, what choices do you have?
Having cancer is something beyond my control, something I cannot change. I can, however, choose how to respond to it.