Tag: growth mindset

Two superheroes are ready to save the world from evil and tyranny.

A take on resilience

There are several definitions of resilience out there. The simplest one I found is that it is the ability to rise again after we fall. And we will fall. One of my favorite humans, Brené Brown, claims that if we are brave enough, often enough, we will fall. I find this hard to come to terms with. If you’ve tried to avoid falling as hard as I’ve tried, and the pandemic has brought you, your team or your business (or all three), to the edge of a cliff or over it – then you might want to read on.  The need to be building courage and resilience in times of uncertainty is stronger than ever.
I would like to look at resilience under a different lens. As a lover of metaphors, I prefer this definition from Cambridge Dictionary:  the ability of a substance to return to its usual shape after being bent, stretched or pressed.
What is our ‘usual shape?’ For me, it’s a triangle. At Axialent we depict the key to sustainable, extraordinary results through a triangle. I don’t think it’s by chance. The triangle is the only polygon that preserves its nature even when it is bent, stretched or pressed. In construction, it is the strongest shape.

The 3 dimensions of resilience

Building Courage and Resilience in Times of Uncertainty: Axialent's 3 dimensions of success
Each point of this triangle represents one of three dimensions of success, and I believe they serve as waypoints on the road to resilience.

  • The ‘It’ dimension represents the task. It is the business results, such as profitability, revenue or market share. The ‘It’ is a prerequisite for survival of any business.
  • Companies achieve results through the contribution of their people. The ‘I’ dimension reminds us that individuals need to be at their best to contribute to a firm’s success. As obvious as this may sound, our experience is that this dimension is often neglected during ‘business as usual.’
  • Just as important as individual wellbeing and engagement is the ‘We’ dimension. How groups collaborate, work as teams and foster healthy interpersonal relationships are also at the heart of a company’s success.

The pandemic has stretched this triangle for many organizations. In the past months, the ‘It’ was hijacked by what I consider a ‘hyper-VUCA’ situation. Volatility, uncertainty, complexity and ambiguity have stretched their bounds. And in the midst of that, the ‘I’ came into the foreground. We’ve all witnessed companies putting the safety and the health of their people – workers, customers, and business partners – first. Although it may seem that they had no choice, this was a choice.
Covid-19 brought a hunger and thirst to connect. The lockdown made us rename ‘social distancing’ to ‘physical distancing’. No way was a virus going to sever human connection. Clients have approached us seeking our advice on how to build healthy connection at a distance, because the spontaneous reaction had turned Zoom-fatigue into a ‘thing’.
This pandemic is also causing undeniable economic turmoil. Figuring out what the new normal will look like is taking up business leaders’ bandwidth today, as they learn to become ambidextrous if they aren’t already: one hand on the short-term survival gear, and the other on the medium-term headlight switches.
Building Courage and Resilience in Times of Uncertainty: Resilient kids

Building Courage and Resilience in Times of Uncertainty

If there is no guarantee as to what the new normal is going to be and the only guarantee is that if we show up courageously in life and in business we will fall, then how can we build the courage to step into this challenge? For me, the answer is by learning to recover the triangle.

  1. On the ‘I’ dimension, first grant yourself permission to not be okay – and then do something about it. I invite you to think of your wellbeing as a responsibility to yourself and to others. Take care of yourself first, so you can be of service to yourself and others. The recommendation to don your own oxygen mask before assisting others who need your help is the perfect example of this.
  2. On the ‘We’ dimension, avoid the pendulum effect. From zero connection to never-ending conference calls and back, neither extremes are sustainable. Consider setting an intention of how you will connect with the people you care about, including colleagues that you used to bump into around the office that you no longer interact with. Tap into your reservoir of creativity to think of other channels of communication. Don’t just default to back-to-back calls.
  3. On the ‘It’ dimension, what if you choose the new normal that you want to see emerge? The one that inspires you to do great things in the world through your business. I encourage you to focus on the handful of things you can do in order to achieve that. It makes me feel more empowered, and it might just do the same for you. I believe it is far more effective than dwelling in helplessness waiting for the new normal to ‘happen to me’.

Conclusion

This is not a matter of balance. It’s not 33.33 period % of each. This is a matter of harmony. You will have built resilience when, at any time this triangle is bent, or stretched, or pressed – you still find a way to recover the triangle you want for yourself, your relationships and your business.

Quote from James Anthony Froude "You cannot dream yourself into a character,; you must forge and hammer yourself one." Never let a good crisis go to waste.
In the first post of this series, I shared an anecdote of how I once heard an executive in the US say “Never let a good crisis go to waste”. On the second post, we briefly explored some ideas about how the crisis and how we respond to it might have a long-lasting effect, with downstream effects impacting our character. In this post, I would like to share some thoughts on how a practice of empathy and gratitude can be a character-building ‘workout’.
As the pandemic continues to wreak havoc in our healthcare and economic systems at the macro-level, the downstream impacts it has on our lives are extremely varied. However, it is difficult to keep in mind the different impact ‘modalities’ it has. The conversations, articles, podcasts, news, etc. from the last weeks have gotten me thinking about the different realities people are experiencing – and it’s prompted me both to empathize more and be grateful for my own situation (still working on it!). We can look at some of these different realities through a large number of different ‘lenses’ or perspectives to help with the mental and emotional exercise. Let’s start with the lens of work situation by looking at a very very high level way of grouping different types of work circumstances many of us are facing right now.

Knowledge / remote workers

This is a segment of the population in many countries that has the great fortune of being able to continue their work from home. Some were already doing it before the crisis, but many people in several countries are now full-time remote workers, for the first time. Those who had not worked remotely before might be struggling with the basics: i.e. setting up a proper physical space, improving their setup to have proper internet connectivity (have you been on a videoconference recently where someone is struggling to get good wifi signal inside their house?), proper headset, etc. For some others, the challange might be not only the setup, but also the learning curve to work remotely: I’ve heard from many of our clients how they have struggled to teach their people how to work remotely overnight, with some even paying online courses to teach their workforce how to operate in this environment. There are some others who now struggle to manage a workforce which became a distributed one overnight.
On top of this we can layer other type of complications – a Wall Street firm HR Director recently shared with me a situation they are facing with their younger workers. Many of them might find themselves working out of a densely populated urban area in which they live with roommates in a small space (think NY or San Francisco, for example). In their small apartments, they might not even have a suitable space to camp out with their laptop and take a call, or said space is not enough to have all roommates trying to do it simultaneously. Others might find themselves locked in their house with their kids running around with no school – trying now to double not only as remote workers but as homeschool teachers. I have heard hundreds of variants of this type of situation, but even though it is undeniably disruptive and stressful, it is a great situation to be in, especially if we consider others.

Still with a job, risking it

There are many others who are fortunate enough to still have a job, but it can’t be performed remotely, and it needs to be performed. Thousands of healthcare workers (facing greater risks than anyone), bank branch employees, supermarket employees, essential service provider workers (water, electricity, internet) among many others. They not only have to deal with potentially having their kids at home, but to continue performing their job – and essentially doing it knowing that everyday that passes they risk contagion, with all the uncertainty that comes with it. “Will I get mild symptoms or end in the hospital? Can I pass it on to my kids and or older relatives living with us?” are thoughts we all might have, but I can only imagine the way they are amplified for those having to leave home everyday to go to work.

Now unemployed – and unprotected

Then we have millions who are now (or about to be) unemployed… and depending on which country they are in, and their situation, this can be a downward spiral with potential ramifications worse than the virus’ most common course. A startup CEO in Mexico recently told me “in my country, poverty will kill more people than the virus”. There are billions of people who live either under the poverty line, or who barely surpass it yet require income on a daily or weekly basis to survive. An interruption in income of a few days can mean they can’t pay rent or other essential expenses. Losing employment can mean they lose their medical insurance, whether private or public…

Other lenses

Sickness and death is yet another lens through which we can try to empathize. Both can touch us all – whether we live in the 1% strata or live in poverty, employed or unemployed, no one is immune to this. We’ve heard about infected (and recently dead) royals and celebrities all the way to the mass graves for the less fortunate ones.
There are additional, countless lenses through which we can try to empathize with others during these times: age (i.e. older people seem to have higher mortality rates), having access or not to testing and healthcare if needed, being able to take care of oneself even for basic chores like shopping, the political situation of where you live (those under totalitarian regimes might be on slippery slope to lose even more freedom), etc.
Whatever the lenses we choose to practice empathy, they can be helpful to get some understanding of what others are living during this crisis. If you are reading this, there is a very reasonable chance you are in one of the more fortunate situations: hopefully you have the financial means to weather this storm out, or you still have a job you can do remotely. If this is the case, remember, even if you are experiencing hardships, count your blessings: there are probably millions who would see your current situation as an answer to their prayers, if they could switch places with you today. Realizing that can help put things in perspective – and it’s one of many ways in which we can individually do our work to avoid letting this crisis go to waste.
 
First published in LinkedIn 

Marcus Aurelius quote "It can ruin your life only if it ruins your character. Otherwise, it cannot harm you - inside or out." Never let a good crisis go to waste: Part 2 - Who do you want to become? Crises as opportunities to (re)build our character.

Marcus Aurelius quote "It can ruin your life only if it ruins your character. Otherwise, it cannot harm you - inside or out." Never let a good crisis go to waste: Part 2 - Who do you want to become? Crises as opportunities to (re)build our character.
It can ruin your life only if it ruins your character. Otherwise it cannot harm you — inside or out. Marcus Aurelius
One of the most tangible aspects of a crisis like the one we are living is the material damage it causes: sickness, death, lost jobs, etc. There is, however, a less tangible but also very important dimension: the net balance a crisis has on our character as individuals, and the overall impact on society as a whole stemming from this.
Many phrases such as ‘adversity reveals character’, or variants of it, seem to indicate that a crisis will bring out who we truly are – and in many cases this won’t be a pretty sight. For example, in the current SARS-CoV-2 pandemic we can find dozens of stories of people who are taking advantage of the situation for their own benefit.
The flip side to this is seeing others rise to the occasion. Every tragedy brings its host of heroes, even if most of them remain unknown. Think of the first responders during 9/11, firefighters and others helping people out of crumbled buildings during an earthquake, rescue personnel saving people during floods – or, right now, thousands of healthcare workers, law enforcement personnel, food supply chain workers and countless others who are risking their lives for others.

The opportunities

We see responses ranging from the vile to the heroic and everything in between. This, however, does not prove that the type of responses we see is an inevitable result of a crisis ‘revealing the true colors of individuals’. Even under the most dire of circumstances, we all still have a choice. In other words, critical situations highly correlate with individuals showing more of who they are, but it does not invariably cause it. This might seem like word play from someone with nothing better to do than playing semantics, yet the implications are deeply profound.
Circumstances do not force me into acting one way or another (for better or worse) – I still have a choice. And what I choose has an impact on my character, every single time. Given that crises confront us with an abnormally high number of choices to make every day, we are basically on an accelerated path to build or destroy our character – and we do not have the option of choosing not to be on this path. Either by action or inaction we are doing something to our character. We are much better off by becoming aware of this and improving our choices every day.
Let’s look at this at different levels to illustrate:

At a personal level

A crisis is a perfect (and unavoidable) daily practice of how we react in the face of stress. It is an emotional gym that gives us the opportunity to ‘put in our reps’ every day. Pandemic panic shopping is making it increasingly hard to find vital supplies? This is a text-book definition of a situation to be legitimately stressed about: it can kickstart a downward spiral of fear, horror, self-pity, anger.
It’s also an opportunity to practice how to refocus my mind on what I can control and operate in that space, as limited as it might be: first rep of the day. Kids running around the house with no school – while trying to take a conference call? Check, that is very stressing – how am I going to respond to this? Second rep of the day. Sales projections are down? Third rep of the day: practice how I will manage my stress. You get the picture.
The difference with a physical gym is that here we don’t have the alternative to skip it: we are in it, and we will be putting in our reps. They can be reps in which we practice how to get more stressed, angrier, fearful… or they can be reps in which we try to give the best response we humanly can to every prompt. Every choice we make to every one of these prompts, every one of our responses, is a character building block.

At a relationship and / or family level

The lockdown half of the world is currently experiencing has resulted, amongst other things, in an impact to our relationships and / or family life. Young couples who are now living together out of necessity. Families with several generations living under the same roof while weathering out the situation. Couples in the process of getting divorced having to share the same living space, as their separation proceedings slow down or are temporarily halted. Death of loved ones. Families losing the income of one or both parents. Kids homeschooling putting an additional strain on family dynamics. Many of these scenarios can be stressing, depressing, anxiety-inducing, or worse.
If your specific current set of circumstances has made your life more complicated, how are you responding to it? Note that the question is responding to it, not how did you respond to it? This means that you have responded to it, you are still doing it, and more likely you will keep on doing it for the days and weeks and maybe months ahead. Is there a way to respond to it better? Can you address the content of the challenge (tension, grief, whatever it might be) with a better grip on your emotional response? Can you recognize the emotion in the situation, acknowledge it, but not be controlled by it?
The harder our circumstances, the harder choosing to respond to them in a constructive way can be – yet, like most other things in life, practice helps. And every day we have the opportunity to practice a better response. That practice is a way to improve our character. We’re already at the gym: might as well put in the work to come out of this stronger.

Never let a good crisis go to waste

This brings us back to the beginning. Crises bring about painful, tangible consequences. Thousands of us will not survive this pandemic – yet most will. The tragedy and grief that we have and will have for those dying is here and will be here. Let us not add to this tragedy by also losing vast amounts of human quality with the survivors’ characters deterioritating. Instead, let’s honor the departed by becoming a better version of ourselves for now and the times to come.