Category: Transformation

In recent weeks we have found ourselves in situations unlike anything we have ever experienced. It’s difficult to know what to do, how to act, or what advice to follow, but one thing is clear, our world has changed and continues to change on a daily, if not hourly, basis. For that, we crave some kind of stability and a way to understand this new world we find ourselves in. I would like to share some of the best ways I have found to deal with our new reality and make the best of it.

1. Choose how to respond!

Many of us feel like we are stuck at home. Events are being postponed, people are being asked to work from home, and there is a need to change consumption habits and more.
Now the question is, how will each of us respond to this situation? How fast can we adapt and learn new ways of engaging? How can we adjust to working from home? And what if our families are also requested to stay at home? How do we deal with that complexity? How can we still deliver the content needed for people who were attending an event that has been postponed or cancelled?
Small but important adjustments in our ways of thinking and acting can create a huge impact.

2. Acceptance and next steps…

Let’s make a bold and smart move: accept that this is happening.
Once we have accepted our new reality, we are able to assess whether we need to change anything or ask for support to be as productive as possible in this new situation.
Last week when I realized I would be working from home, I took the opportunity to reorganize my home office.
Do you have everything you need to create an “office at home”? What can you do to make it work best for you? Can you ask your company for anything that would make it easier for you to be productive?

3. Home office: Setting boundaries: speak up and share

Many issues can and will arise with this new situation; and these are things that we all need to learn how to respond to.
Kids at home? Sharing a room to work in? Are there people around who are not clear about your availability? Colleagues who don’t know your situation?
Here are some ideas on how to deal with this and still be productive.

4. Generate connection while working virtually

What can you do to stay connected to your colleagues and clients, and increase effectiveness while working in a virtual environment?

  • For meetings, having your camera on, and asking others to do so too, can help everyone feel more connected and present.
  • “Checking-in” at the start of meetings with how we are doing and what we are expecting from the meeting not only makes sure there is alignment on the intention, but can also be used to open up a space for a quick personal connection.
  • How about instituting a once a week sharing of “best practices” with your team about this topic? This can help you connect as a team while at the same time increase your effectiveness and productivity.

5. Get moving!

Considering the limitations of our new situation, I think it’s important to do all we can to stay fit and healthy, both physically and mentally. The way to do it might vary for each of us based on what we like and the restrictions we have, but the need to do something to take care of ourselves remains.
The other day I went for a run outside and realized how much I needed it. There are alternative ways to stay active (and avoid the gym or crowded public places). Here I’m sharing some links to activities that I enjoy and find boost my productivity (and can be done from home!).
Quick yoga to give you a boost:

Stretching at your desk:

6. Take time to calm your mind and release tension


What is happening, is happening. Let’s just accept it. Even unconsciously, the constant stream of news and messages are increasing and generating fear and paranoia which blocks our ability to be rational and effective.
How can we connect to our best selves under the current circumstances, lower our anxiety and connect to great positive energy?
Perhaps you could stop looking at your cell phone and news so frequently? Why not put all our attention on reading a book? Or a movie we can debate afterwards? Fixing that thing at home that has been broken for a while now? Practice meditation and breathing to free up our minds? And what about seeing what you can cook with what you have available?
What we focus on expands and can completely change our mood and energy.
Let´s try to connect 100% with things that help us stay grounded, a few times every day!

7. Let’s focus on the opportunities

How can we make the most of these times where many of us are working from home? One thing that we gain is no commuting time!
This could mean more time to sleep or starting work earlier. Or this could be an opportunity to leverage the time to be with your family, meditate or do some exercise. Whatever you choose, is up to you, but the most important thing is to realize that we do have a choice.
What are you going to choose to do this week during your “commute”? What can you choose to do that takes care of your physical or mental health, and helps you to say grounded?

I’m curious, you are a year or so into this digital transformation/culture change initiative… how’s it going?

Here’s a line of questioning you can use to check on the awareness, urgency, and the alignment of the executive team involved in both the big “T” and little “t” imperatives:

1- Goals. What is the business reason/goal for this transformation? What are the key metrics used to measure degrees of success in the execution of this transformation?
2- Progress. How’s it going? What are you most excited about? What are you most concerned about? How are you feeling about the transformation? Where are you now, compared to your baseline measures?
3- Consequences. What are the business consequences of not transforming successfully? On a scale of 1 to 10, how important/urgent is this? What if you don’t intervene and people just do (think, relate, act) as they have been doing to date? Specifically, if you don’t shift the culture, what is the impact on the two business units that generate the highest revenue/margin?
4- Ideal State. Do the executives who make up the leadership team have clarity about the ideal culture (vision) you are transforming to? Imagine if you woke up a year from now and found that the vision has come true and your goals have been accomplished. What does that look like? When culture change has taken hold, it makes it a lot easier and more likely to achieve your industry-leading/pioneering performance-level goals. How can you tell? What is different? What are some key habits and areas of mastery that you are excited about? What are people inside and outside your company saying about it?
5- Current State. Compared to this ideal, what is missing in the current situation? Do these executives have clarity about the current culture and where you are now? Do you have individual and collective diagnostic tools? From your perspective, how do people need to perform differently in the next X years in order to transform?
6- Culture Plan. Do the executives agree on the gap to close? Do they agree on the plan, priority, and sequence to close it? What have you done already? What is keeping you from closing the gap and shifting to the ideal culture? What are the identified blockers/obstacles?
7- Personal Impact. Why did you raise your hand for this? What matters the most to you? Why? What happens to you if you don’t accomplish the vision? Will you get fired? Will you be disappointed and want to quit?
8- Understanding. Does the leadership team have clarity, shared language, and understanding about how culture evolves and the impact of history on the current state? Have they identified causal factors (e.g., systems, structures) that are part of the work climate? Do they understand how they reinforce and shape the current culture and what may be levers for change in improvement plans?
9- Shared Learning. How well does the leadership team embody the ideal cultural attributes? How are they being supported? Are they first going to create a shared learning environment for both the technical and human dimensions of change?
10- Organizational Impact. How many people in the organization, beyond the leadership team, are being impacted by the transformation?
 

In addition to questions like these, leaders need a reliable, MRI level of detailed visibility into the invisible components of culture (and a simple model) to understand and discuss where you are currently as a culture — and where you want to be in the near future. You need to see clearly where you have anomalies of ideal culture success and current culture gaps. To have an effective culture strategy, you can’t afford to use anecdotes or guess about the gap to be closed. Culture isn’t declarative; it’s interrogative.

CXO, you got this.

Most executive teams I’ve worked with are genuinely convinced of the need to make culture change happen. They all want to be more flexible, ‘agile’, and customer-focused in order to grow and innovate in today’s uncertain and rapidly changing environment. Moreover, and perhaps most importantly, most leaders recognize that mindset change is key to being successful in this transformation.
However, and despite sincere enthusiasm from leaders and executives, in most organizations cultural change hardly ever materializes as intended. It rarely happens at the pace and depth leaders had hoped for when they started the process. So the question is, why is this?
After more than ten years’ experience facilitating and advising on culture transformation programs, I have identified three common pitfalls that trap most executives during the change process. My purpose in this article is to discuss how these pitfalls emerge and suggest three concrete solutions that could help to avoid them.
The first pitfall is following trending topics instead of making them “trending habits”.
Culture and mindset change are current trends. And I really love this! But trends can also create a problem. Whenever I teach the Victim-Player mindsets, everyone recognizes the need to become more of a Player; to focus more on solutions rather than on limiting factors. When I explain how to operate in a Growth Mindset and focus on our never-ending capacity to do better, executive teams are usually instantly willing to embrace it. The benefits are evident to all.
However, if we only become enamored with the concept, we can easily fall into the trap of missing the factor that is key to making these new mindsets work in practice.
When mindsets are taught without creating the context for them to blossom and an activity system that translates them into habits, they will easily dilute. Instead of loving doing it, you will only love the concept.
For instance, I can perfectly teach the Victim-Player mindset, conceptually and with some practice, in a two-hour slot (and even in a 10-minute slot!). However, the learning process is far from complete if we don’t understand –and then practice– how to translate these concepts into our daily routines.
How do we become the person who naturally brings this mindset alive? To make this happen I find it key to focus on the one thing that occurs in organizations all the time: conversations (with others and with ourselves). What do we do every day? We think, discuss, negotiate, commit and deliver something. We are in meetings, writing emails or exchanging instant messages all day, and when we are not talking to someone, we are talking to ourselves. The quality of these conversations and the way in which they happen are an asset or a liability to how corporate culture is built.
Culture change programs must always include the introduction of concrete habits that apply the new mindsets to conversations and meetings as a key artifact where we express how we do things. For example, changing the way we set the agenda of a meeting can be a simple but powerful tool to improve coordination and make commitments and responsibilities more transparent. Processing together at the end of a meeting how we could have done better can be, for instance, an effective way of applying the Learner Mindset. Thus avoiding the unhealthy habit of judging the quality of the meeting in the hallway, a common vice that boycotts the learning process of the group and feeds the ‘inner Knower’ in ourselves.
In short, in order to make change happen, we need to make a mindset a habit, and a habit a mindset. Creating this virtuous cycle is key to helping new mindsets take root and making culture transformation a powerful lubricant for business growth and innovation.
The second pitfall is not the design of change programs, but the behaviors of those that lead them.
The problem is as follows: A manager or an organization implements a program to equip a team with a new mindset, yet the program is led by people that still operate with an old one.
Let me offer an example. A leader wants to create a pilot to train an executive group to be more innovative and agile, adopting a Player and Learner mindset. The process will encounter a number of setbacks, which is to be expected with most new programs. While this is not a problem per se, what I have observed many times is that the leader quickly focuses on who created the setback, who is to blame, and even considers canceling the program if people don’t fully “like it” or get on board. This is the opposite of what being innovative and a Player and Learner is all about.
By adopting these defensive attitudes, executives and leaders miss a great opportunity to start changing culture “on the job” by assuming responsibility and taking corrective action. Or even better, by acknowledging that they might not know how to solve some of the issues and share the problem with the group to search for solutions in a process of collective learning and cooperation.
In short, leading change from the old mindset can never really work. In any change program the process itself must be the ‘spearhead’ to break into the new mindset. In order to lead a culture change, we as the leaders need to be a few steps ahead in embodying the new values and so send the right signals and symbols that will inspire everyone else to follow.
The third pitfall is based on an interesting paradox: ‘in order to move fast we need to start slow.’
Some of the most common phrases I hear from leaders in organizations that want to embark on culture change programs start something like this: “We need to change corporate culture; it is critical for the business.” “It is one of our top 3 priorities.” “Changing culture is key to our future success.” And right after saying this they complement it with one or both of the following: “We have a very limited budget and have just one shot to make it happen.” “We need this urgently!”
I suspect that many people reading might not only have heard something like this before but might also have said something similar.
How does this urgency translate then into the implementation of change processes? I will illustrate the problem with an example: Recently, I was hired to implement a pilot to help a team adopt a Learner Mindset that was critical to becoming more customer-centric. Yet, at the end of the process, the leadership team wanted to assess the success of the program by measuring specific business outcomes, even when we were just piloting to learn. They were exclusively focused on whether a certain ‘result’ was actually achieved rather than on the experience of adopting a Learner Mindset, on really creating the capability that will enable this mindset to flourish and be multiplied.
Both Learner and Growth Mindsets are about creating experiences that motivate teams to continue learning in an ever-evolving process. Yet, leaders seem to be more interested in cutting the program short and grasping a tangible fixed result as soon as they can. This not only goes against the essence of the mindsets they are trying to teach, but also erodes the capacity to create the change they want with so much urgency in the first place.
The result of such behaviors is usually a series of never-ending pilots, recurrent change of consulting firms in search of a ‘magic pill’, and many other attempts that fail to produce real change in corporate culture. Executives find themselves ‘running in circles’ and ultimately the organization spends much more money, time, and energy than what is actually required to make a change program successful.
Applying the Player, Learner and Growth Mindsets to this article
I invite you, reading this, not to challenge my words by finding what is not fully true for you, but try to find situations in which this might have happened, to you, your team or your organization, and how you can think of a different way to respond to the challenge. Is there any new thought or idea worth trying? Let me give you some advice, stop thinking of others and just start with yourself!
Now that we have identified the basic problem, a natural question arises: is there a way to get out of these pitfalls? My answer is yes, and summarized below are my three fundamental recommendations:
 

  • Acknowledge your Biases and Limitations: This is perhaps the most important and fundamental of all considerations. As I already explained above, one of the main pitfalls that prevent real change from happening is that programs that train teams to adopt new mindsets are led by people that still operate with an old one. In order to avoid this problem, it is essential for executives to recognize that, in many cases, they might not be ready to lead the process.
  • Look for support! Whenever you are getting into territory you haven’t navigated before, it is always a good idea to have someone around to guide, support or advice you (or all 3 together). Someone who has no other agenda than making things happen with you.
  • Train a Pioneering Team: Before starting the implementation of a company-wide program, is very important to first train a small team within the company that fully adopts the new mindsets and that is respected by others. Once this team is attuned, the program can then be extended to other groups, maintaining a commitment to follow the pioneers. In short, before sharing and deploying a big and ambitious change program, make sure that at least a small group is one step ahead to lead the way.

 
In my next article, I will elaborate further on these three recommendations, and especially in this latter point, which I consider the most fundamental step to becoming truly successful change leaders.

In my previous article, I described how I understand disruption and the three main challenges I see organizations face when dealing with accelerated change. Regardless of the kind of industry, size of business or location, our experience shows us that disruption impacts individuals and organizations in the way you live, the way you engage with others, and the way you do business. Here I will outline the three antidotes to face disruption.
The three challenges, or “viruses” I spoke about were:
• Lack of responsibility or ownership to respond and the speed with which we act. We call this the “victim” mindset.
• Lack of curiosity, openness and acceptance of the status quo. We call this the “knower” (or “fixed”) mindset.
• The dangers of multitasking and not valuing the power of focus on a single task at a time. We call this the “multitasker.”
 

The “antidotes” or mindsets to “fight” these “viruses”

The player mindset focuses on your capacity to respond when facing a challenging situation, your “response-ability” — the shift in focus from what is out of your control to what you can control. It is present and future focused, while “victims” are often stuck in the past and attached to “this is how we’ve always done it.” The intent is to solve the problem at hand with agility and speed instead of pondering the past and looking for blame, which is counterproductive.
The learner mindset is the capacity to acknowledge that what we see and interpret is hinged on what we are capable of seeing based on our own story, beliefs and how we make meaning of the world around us. There are many different perspectives and a wide range of opportunities that arise once we open up with a humble attitude that allows us to learn new things. That way we can detach from the stories we tell ourselves and don’t believe them as if they were the ultimate truth. When you stop trying to prove others wrong, opportunities will appear for you to find an effective solution. The aim is to find a solution for the organization to be as effective as possible, not trying to be right.
Focus and presence is the art of paying kind attention to what is really going on. Although many people seem to think that being able to do many things at the same time is a great gift, I dare challenge that idea. I believe that it is really hard to see what is going on and embrace what is really happening unless you are fully present. There is research that shows how multitasking effectiveness is a myth because you are doing a little bit for each of the things you are working on instead of doing a lot and being fully focused on one task at a time. You cannot react fast if you don’t see the opportunities around you. I have experienced multiple leaders ask me, “How the hell didn’t I see this coming?” But deep down they knew the issue was always there. When we lose focus, we miss what leaders are supposed to see, what others don’t. Practicing our capacity of staying in the present moment seems easy, but it is not simple. I would take the risk of saying that once you try it, you’ll realize how much richness and clarity it brings.

So how can you start applying and making this happen?

  • Speak in the first person, own your opinions and emotions (and reactions to ideas), and recognize that you are the one who owns what you think and feel.
  • Invite others to express what they think and feel, and find what is right in it. “Make people right before you make them wrong.”
  • Make sure that you put in leadership meeting agendas a section on “what we might be missing” and “what can go wrong.” Allow people to brainstorm about this and see what emerges.
  • If after reading this you still think multitasking is useful and it is better than focusing on a single situation at a time, I invite you to watch this two-minute video and check if this doesn’t happen to you. Unless you start thinking in this way, it would be hard to create any change.
  • You need to develop these skills, as we have often learned the opposite. Incorporate a “pause” from time to time throughout the day, especially before important meetings. Did you ever try the power of one-moment meditations? Try this and see how effective “the power of pause” could be.

As you can see, building a more agile, disruptive and innovative organization requires us to challenge our mindsets and practice new skills we might not have developed yet. But if you want to see the change happening, you would need to take the first step. Are you up for it?

Disruption are you up for it - image of a planes flying in formation and another crossing their path

Disruption here, disruption there, disruption everywhere… It’s a buzzword, but what does it really mean?
I define disruption as the speed in which change happens, the acceleration it takes, and how fast it impacts other parts of the system. “The butterfly effect at the speed of light” — it alters the way you live, the way you engage with others, and the way you do business.
Disruption can be a threat to your business if you are the “disrupted” (think about Uber toppling the taxi and transportation industry), or it can be an advantage if you are the “disruptor” (at least, for some time). There have been many articles written about disruption, but I have found very few that talk about how to respond to it (especially if others depend on you as a leader).
Let’s refer to the iceberg model from one of my previous articles 

We believe the key to be able to respond to disruption is to look at our consciousness at the “being” level — gaining awareness of how we respond, when we are triggered or reactive, and how to recover faster when we are being triggered; identifying the triggers and consciously choosing how we will respond when new situations emerge. We will be tempted to think we know the answer, but we might be facing a problem we had not encountered before.
We need to be resilient (defined as the ability to recover faster and faster) at the “being” level in order to face and respond to disruption, as our egos will be challenged and at risk. How can you build a culture of resilience in your organization where egos or attachment are not getting in the way? Prepare your leaders and employees to face any situation they might encounter.
We will discuss three different “viruses” we see in organizations that work against building this resilience and the ability to respond:

  • Lack of curiosity, openness and acceptance of the status quo. We call this the “knower” or “fixed” mindset.
  • Lack of responsibility or ownership to respond and the speed with which we act. We call this the “victim” mindset.
  • The dangers of multitasking and not valuing the power of focus on a single task at a time. We call this the “multitasker.”

 

Lack of curiosity, openness and acceptance of the “status quo”

 
“I think there is a world market for about five computers.”
— Remark attributed to Thomas J. Watson, Chairman of the Board of International Business Machines (IBM), 1943
 
“We don’t like their sound. Group guitars are on their way out.”
— Decca Records on rejecting the Beatles
 
“Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?”
— Harry Warner, Warner Bros. 1927
 
What did you think when you read those statements? We can’t imagine our lives without computers. The Beatles became one of the biggest music success stories. And can you imagine movies without actors talking?
All of these examples disrupted their industries in a big way. Thankfully, there were others who believed in computers and The Beatles.
These statements all lack curiosity, which can be very dangerous. What if The Beatles had given up after speaking with Decca records?
Have you ever been in a meeting listening to the presenter and think to yourself “Wow, that will never work. What a stupid idea.”?
A good example of this is the Blockbuster story. Remember them? (Because many children today don’t!)  Netflix met with Blockbuster executives to propose a partnership, but Blockbuster laughed at the idea and didn’t agree. The rest is history.
Imagine how things would have been different if they had moved away from their “fixed” mindset and had been open to the partnership.
It is very easy to shut down others because we have a belief. That’s why the “knower” is a very dangerous mindset to be in. We believe our own opinion is the truth. We have been telling ourselves stories all our lives, but the danger comes when we start to believe our stories and are no longer open for other ideas to emerge.
 

Lack of responsibility or ownership to respond, and the speed with which we act

 
“Mommy, the toy broke.”
“The milk spilled.”
“He started it.”
 
For those who have children, you are probably very familiar with these statements or can think back to your own childhood. Now read the statements again. How do you think the toy broke? Who spilled the milk? Who started it? These are exactly the same as:
“The project got delayed.”
“The previous meeting ran late.”
“Accounting didn’t get me the report.”
 
On a bigger scale, this turns into a blame game, where the focus is on who created the problem. The BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico is a good example of the different parties not wanting to take responsibility for what happened. And that became a PR disaster.
Blaming external circumstances for something that occurred without you being part of it or having any ownership in it might be a good short-term strategy to keep your ego safe, but it will not help your business at all in the long term.
While you are all discussing whom to blame, someone is looking for the solution you need, and they will probably beat you to it.
This level of complacency can put your organization at a disadvantage.
 

The dangers of multitasking

In 2015 alone, 3,477 people were killed and 391,000 people were injured in motor vehicle crashes involving distracted drivers.
During daylight hours, approximately 660,000 drivers use their cellphone while driving
These numbers are very big and very concerning. We all know it, and yet we still do it. How can that be?
In organizations, multitasking has become the norm and is no longer an exception. It’s often even valued as an asset. Do you recall your last meeting? How many people were listening and at the same time looking at their phones? Have you dialed in for a conference call and at the same time responding to emails?
I am afraid I have to burst your bubble. Multitasking might be very good for some things, but you can’t apply it to everything. Effective multitasking is a myth and also very counterproductive.
Take driving for example. At any given time, we need to focus on the road ahead, look in the rearview or side mirrors, control our speed, apply the right amount of pressure to the gas pedal, and maybe even look at the GPS for direction. We may have mastered this art, but adding talking on the phone, texting or having an argument with another passenger in the car is where you push the limit and it becomes counterproductive.
When does your multitasking go too far?
 

But what next?

My invitation to you is to reflect on these three viruses:

  • Do you observe yourself displaying any of these behaviors? What about people around you?
  • Can you think of any situation in which displaying these behaviors impacted people negatively or hurt the business?

In my next article, we will unpack the antidotes to each of these viruses.

culture change


 
 
The idea of culture change is easy; the details of execution are complex. Most of us can only speculate how the organization is actually going to respond to change and why. Enterprise level “cascading” plans are unlikely to succeed. When leaders use the word “cascade” in the context of culture change, they are referencing an old corporate communications/change-management paradigm that is useful for communications but NOT useful for the real work of culture change or adult development. Few leaders truly understand how culture works — a new approach is needed to support leaders responsible for shaping culture.
 

No you can’t “cascade” culture change… but you can scale courageous culture attributes.

The CXOs ideal, courageous culture vision may or may not be possible yet — especially in certain pockets of the organization — and for good reason. Only in the midst of executing an expert culture change prototype can we begin to learn more about what’s possible re: the three, big “HOW-TO?” questions:
1- How to define the way teams should connect to superiors/subordinates to be most effective? Why ? Under what circumstances/situational context?
2- How to break down the silos and unite cross-functional teams? Why? Under what circumstances/what situational context?
3- How to build versions of progress (prototypes) that demonstrate value to the organization. How to define and measure which new prototype elements work/don’t work? Why? Under what circumstances/situational context?
 

Then we can more strategically explore how to translate that incremental learning into value more broadly and how we might scale these desired, constructive culture attributes.

But before solving the complex execution details mentioned above… we need to focus on understanding/clarity and get alignment around what’s really going on in our culture.

  • What aggressive/defensive norms are working against us? Where are the anomalies working for us? against us? Under what circumstances/situational context?
  • What passive/defensive norms are working against us? Where are the anomalies working for us? against us? Under what circumstances/situational context?
  • What causal factors provide the greatest leverage for change? Why? Under what circumstances/situational context?

 

If you don’t first get the clarity & alignment…. you’re screwed. You’re not gonna scale or cascade anything besides culture incompetence.

Are you ready for the clarity & alignment?

I think you’re ready. CXO, you got this.

 
 
 

This past year, I met with hundreds of senior executives across the globe for the sole purpose of getting in some high-quality practice reps—working on our path to emotional mastery together. In many geographies, in many languages, in many world-class companies from many industries, we came together to strengthen our innovation mindsets and muscles so that we can accelerate getting to our individual and collective next levels as world-class Jedi business leaders focused on playing the long game.
 

These leaders are wrestling with the fast pace of change, asking questions like: What does our next-level business environment look like 10 years from now? What kind of company will we need to be to compete in 2030? Who do I need to BE/BECOME to help lead my company to get there successfully? Will my “current-level” thinking and behaving be enough?
Some sessions were private one-on-ones, some were in learning groups, and more often than not we met in the weekly course of business, during work stream meetings, KPI review sessions, M&A integration planning sessions or weekly team meetings. We met so that we could engage in real-time, “learn by doing,” high-quality practice reps.

KNOWING VS. DOING INCONGRUENCE

We were working mostly on experimenting how to make progress on closing our knowing versus doing gaps. We were not trying to focus on all of them, just the one or two that matter most to us right now.
 

 
Many senior executives can clearly articulate what their personal leadership gap is (e.g., “I’m a poor listener,” “I don’t ask enough questions,” “I typically react aggressively,” “I display passive-defensive reactivity,” “I am known for my technical abilities, not for developing trust/relationships,” “I don’t overtly walk the talk when it comes to our company culture or company values, but I run the No. 1 sales region, so I think I make up for it that way”). They’ve heard plenty of consistent feedback over the years from their bosses, peers and their 360s. All of them claim to have good intentions about closing those gaps.
Unfortunately, though, many are NOT very intentional about doing the personal work needed to actually close the gaps. They are all sincere (THE GOOD NEWS), but not all serious about it (THE BAD NEWS). Many executives are instead operating out of a default modus operandi, merely working on mitigating the impact of their gaps (after the fact), setting up damage control and disaster recovery/cleanup protocol versus upgrading their ability to deliver their desired next-level performance on the front end.
I know this because I privately asked them some very direct questions like: “You said you’re working on neutralizing your tendency to bully people in meetings (and instead engage them in a way that leaves them feeling strong), but you just talked over three people in the meeting we just had. Did you notice that? How exactly have you been working on closing this leadership gap?”
When they replied that they didn’t actually have a plan or a protocol for practice, I asked, “Why not? Why haven’t you asked for help?” They didn’t have a reason. They usually seemed surprised by the question and obviousness of what I was implying—that they knew what to do but weren’t doing it. When I ask them the follow-up question, it usually sinks in… “So, who are you BEING now that you know what to do and yet are still choosing not to do it?”
 

 
I challenge them to first reflect and get clarity—get specific about what different results they want (but are having trouble getting with their current-level approach), get specific about the WHY or the motive for wanting it and then get some expert help to experiment on “getting there” (closing the gap FASTER) by practicing differently. The treatment is simple: deliberate practice, an experimentation lifestyle, test and learn.
“THE JEDI PADAWAN ON THE PATH TO MASTERY” looks and sounds like this: “I’m getting expert help (sometimes challenging + sometimes loving support); I have an explicit/tangible performance goal; I’m engaged in consistent, deliberate/expert practice (mostly with others); I’m seeking out consistent/ objective feedback (testing, learning, game filming); I’m focused on learning to love the process of learning (and sharing that learning with my team).”
 
THE #1 MISTAKE (SMART) PEOPLE MAKE THAT KEEPS THEM STUCK
I need the same kind of challenge, support, reminder, clarity and awakening to help me be more congruent with my walk/talk. Only then can I determine if I am indeed on the path to mastery (overcoming the gap) or if I am making the all-too-common “dabbling/hacking” (approach to learning) mistake.
“THE DABBLER/HACKER DEFAULTING TO PLAN A” looks and sounds like this: “I’m working on it (mostly on my own); I’m trying harder (when I have time) to not be so reactive, but I’m too busy right now to stop and train; I need more self-discipline to train consistently; I know what needs to be done, I just can’t do it in the moment; I think faster than most people; and, yes, I can get pretty impatient frequently—that’s why people think I’m mad and yelling at them…but I’m not mad, I’m just passionate and moving fast.” 
The “dabbler/hacker” orientation does NOT support effective follow-through on closing the gap. The dabbler/hacker orientation is apparently satisfied at the current level of performance. If they were consciously dissatisfied or suffering enough at the current level, they would approach closing the gap differently. That usually is the telltale sign that we aren’t ready to change, yet. When will we be ready? Don’t worry…there will always be more suffering. When we are done suffering, that’s when we will be ready to change. With that new level of awareness, openness and curiosity, we will be ready to experiment with a new expert approach and a new expert system to find ways to close the gaps more effectively. Then, and usually only then, we can see past the DOING gap and get to work on the root cause: the BEING gap.
Yes, there is an expert way to accelerate our own readiness. Just trying harder doesn’t work.
In some cases, the awareness will come too late and the unnecessary suffering will lead to permanent damage. In some cases, the stakes are too high to allow suffering and permanent damage. Even then, unfortunately, we often approach these kinds of high stakes domains that we say we care about (e.g., taking care of others and taking care of ourselves) so unconsciously that a game film replay of our lives would show us that sometimes we pursue the less effective “dabbler/hacker” approach, even when it matters most.
None of us would say that it is OK to be a “dabbler/hacker” when it comes to our important relationships, right? Is it OK to approach our health with this “dabbler/hacker” orientation? Is it OK to approach our leadership development with this “dabbler/hacker” orientation?

Is it ok (for world-class professional leaders) to approach our leadership development with this “dabbler/hacker” orientation?

Of course not. There’s too much riding on it. There are too many people counting on us to BE a “next-level” leader already, and maybe we’re behind schedule. Taking a mastery approach in the leadership domain will have an exponential impact on all of the results we get, in all of the dimensions we care about most (e.g., career, physical, mental, emotional, relational, spiritual).
BECOMING THE KIND OF LEADER WHO LEARNS TO LEAD DIFFERENTLY
To succeed in a time of building agile/adaptive businesses, the most effective leaders are UN-LEARNING the outdated, top-down, “leader-knows-best” success formula and are instead LEARNING to hold themselves 100% responsible for the fate of the company on one hand…and on the other hand hold 0% (absolutely no) responsibility for controlling the choices that need to be made by other people. Let’s read that again…

We leaders are 100% responsible for the fate of the company on one hand…and on the other hand, we assume 0% (absolutely NO) responsibility for controlling the choices that need to be made by other people.

This key leadership polarity may seem counterintuitive, but it is more effective when it comes to exceptional, sustainable results. Successful leaders today design and grow cultures where diverse groups of human beings can bring 100% of their individuality, creativity, courage and curiosity to bear on the most complex problems of the times, and cultures and systems where there can be leaders at all levels making better, faster, more collaborative decisions. That’s how you “fit in here.” You speak up, ask for help, test, learn, make mistakes, etc.
 
We can’t fake that kind of next level leadership. That’s a BEING fix, not a DOING fix. Who we are (BEING) determines what gets traction at the DOING level and then ultimately determines the results we get. That’s why New Year’s resolutions don’t usually work; they are approached from the DOING level.
A DECADE FROM NOW…
I hope 10 years from now I will become the kind of leader that is capable of BEING more conscious and deliberate than I am right now. I’m much further ahead of where I was a decade ago, but I still have a long, long way to go.
I didn’t start the deeper work on my BEING level until I became a parent. I wish I had started much sooner. But that’s when I started to get more serious about waking up and choosing to focus on becoming something better. I finally saw the glaring dissatisfaction I had with my current level and realized WHY I wanted to become a better version of myself. That’s when I started engaging in the mastery of next-level practices and eventually started seeing the next-level results.
WHERE WILL MASTERY MATTER MOST TO YOU IN THE NEXT 10 YEARS?
What are you focused on learning? What do you want to experiment on in 2020? Let’s get specific. Let’s celebrate noticing our gaps. Let’s build our 2020 plan. “The question we all need to think about is when and where to play a long-term game. A good place to start is with things that compound: knowledge, relationships, and finances.” –FS
This post is an invitation to myself and others to notice where we might be taking the dabbler/hacker approach versus the necessary mastery approach. Use this list of reflection-provoking planning questions below. Modify them, make them your own, or use a different list of questions to capture your thinking for an increased likelihood of BEING successful in 2020. Once you have this clarity, then you can more effectively plan your weekly sprints (experiments) and quarterly goals.
2019 CURRENT YEAR/CURRENT-LEVEL REFLECTION
POSITIVE:
• What did I love most about 2019? When was I happiest?
• What am I most grateful for from 2019?
• Which three moments were most meaningful?
AUTHENTIC/PURPOSEFUL:
• Where did I really use my strengths?
• How did I live out my values/purpose?
DISAPPOINTMENTS/LEARNINGS:
• What were my biggest disappointments? …frustrations? …failures?
• What were my biggest inconsistencies with my values/purpose/priorities?
• What still makes me feel angry? …sad? …anxious? …scared?
• What is the most honest thing I can say about my disappointments?
• What is the most compassionate thing I could say to myself about my disappointments? (reframing)
MOMENTUM
• What momentum did I start to build in 2019 that I want to take forward?
2020 NEXT YEAR/NEXT-LEVEL PLANNING
• What do I love to do that I want to do more of in 2020?
• What core values are most inspiring to me?
• What priorities do I want to focus on in 2020?
• What would be most inspiring for me to accomplish in 2020?
• What would be my heart’s desire or biggest dream?
Click here for access to the downloadable PDF or email me at raff.viton@axialent.com if you would like a PDF of the full 2019 REFLECTION/2020 PLANNING DOCUMENT.


In 100% of the deals where significant value was lost, the senior leaders (in corporate and private equity firms) all report that culture issues were the cause.
 

If everyone knows the # is 100%, then optimism about the culture integration (of M&As) would seem to be negligent at best & self-sabotage at worst.

 
According to PwC research report “How to Create Value Beyond the Deal”, senior leaders report culture as being critical to business success and essential for value retention in a merger and acquisition; however, few truly understand it (yet proceed as if “this time” it will work out fine.)
There are obviously, better options available than leaving money on the table due to optimism, impotence and surrender. This all sounds like too much unnecessary suffering and permanent damage if you ask me. A new approach is needed to support leaders responsible for merging separate cultures more successfully. 
 

 
 

“Buyers and sellers both are saying culture and people need to be the highest priority from day one.” – PwC

 
Culture is such an obvious driver of value, but “many are scarred” by overestimating their own competency and underestimating the importance (but not in hindsight). Many have learned the hard way that changing culture requires experts in both the technical and human competency of changing culture.

  • 65% of companies (and 57% of private equity dealmakers) say cultural issues hampered the creation of value in addition to the 100% that said it caused value loss
  • 83% of the deals that lost significant value saw between 21% – 30% of key talent leave the business

 

 
 
 
The PwC research goes on to recommend: “Put culture at the heart of the deal: Keeping people and cultural aspects up front in planning is fundamental. Failing to plan for cultural change will undermine the value created. In the face of disruption across all industries, it is important to ensure these core elements are all working in harmony to ensure maximum returns, effective integration and long-term value creation.”
 
 
 
 

“Culture, if poorly managed, can absolutely be a deal-breaker” — Iñaki Cobo of KKR London

McKinsey & Company agrees: “Understanding culture, and proactively managing it, is critical to a successful integration. This requires a comprehensive approach. Cultural factors and organizational alignment are critical to success (and avoiding failure) in mergers. Yet leaders often don’t give culture the attention it warrants—an oversight that can lead to poor results.”
Leaders get a lot of things right on the tangible and technical side of the integration but often overlook the human side due to their lack of understanding/culture competency – it is a costly blindspot.
 

If only a fraction of the deal cost was invested in culture competency, many of the significant losses could be avoided and the likelihood for exponential value to be created would be significantly increased. What gets in the way? The hubris or lack of awareness is baffling – why do leaders keep repeating this mistake over and over while doing all the technical things right? Perhaps it’s because on the surface, they believe they are doing enough and it looks like things are going ok – many things do go very well…
 
WHAT USUALLY GOES WELL? (BUT ALONE IS NEVER SUFFICIENT)
Dedicated new team time: Both parties usually demonstrate a sincere openness to working together. Space is usually opened for people to share how they feel, acknowledge the different backgrounds, and highlight concerns and opportunities.
Strong leadership steps up to get things done: Usually, leaders are willing to step up and take on tasks and difficult challenges moving forward. There is a strong focus on action and getting things done.
A high level of business knowledge: On both sides, the knowledge and understanding of the business is usually high. (However, usually the knowledge and understanding of the human side of change/integration is not as high.)
Strong leaders role model well: Some leaders effectively and/or intuitively role model the type of culture they want to see.
 
WHAT GETS IN THE WAY OF CULTURE INTEGRATION?
A. We need to work inside out with an understanding that change starts from within: Persistent ineffective mindsets are the biggest blockers. From a cognitive level to new habits, mindset shifts from fixed to growth, victim to player and knower to learner need practice. It typically appears that the acquirer’s integration investment in the culture/people dimension has been ad hoc and limited, reflecting a “hope for the best outcome” versus a guarantee and commitment for the best return.
B. Significant gaps in leadership’s ability to “listen to understand” and/or seek first to understand, then to be understood: People need help building the muscles/ability to differentiate between opinion versus fact. They do not know how to do this, which in turn creates barriers to being received and understood, despite good intentions. Interactions improve when people learn to speak constructively and responsibly about issues as well as their own emotional journey.

C. Thinking “win-win-win” requires more listening and empathy: People and teams need support to help them become more self-aware and practice real empathy. For example, many times the acquirer will mention that the existing standards/processes would remain in place unless there was a compelling reason to change. Surprisingly, this invitation for certainty can often create a sense of disappointment among the acquiree’s executives.
D. There are pros and cons of the “acquirer’s way” for integrating the acquiree: Become conscious that the acquirer’s way can be very effective for many purposes. Yet when dealing with a culture like that of the acquiree, where they value something slightly different, it can also be a liability.
E. People’s perception of leadership matters: Individual leadership styles matter a great deal during the integration. It dramatically affects how engaging and inspiring they are (or are not), and how they are perceived by others. Many leaders don’t have a sufficient “mirror” helping them to be more aware of their own impact on others.
WHAT CAN WE DO TO START STRONG AS ONE NEW TEAM? 
Here’s how to start strong, preserve the best of both cultures and create value together…
 

1. Design a vision for the merger to be a model/symbol of the acquirer’s long-term commitment to the “marriage,” to innovation, to people, and to dominating the category. Use a statistically valid model (and practical visual device) to build alignment and to tell the story – e.g., the Organizational Culture Inventory (OCI/OEI®) is the world’s most thoroughly researched and widely used culture tool. Custom diagnostics/models are not better – they are too confusing, they don’t measure the right things and they cost more.

 
2. Support joint leadership teams to align culture and strategy – start by exploring their culture readiness (as an on-ramp to building shared clarity and alignment) and engage the teams in high-performance team development (individual and collective development/learning journeys).


 
3. Have joint leadership teams lead the co-creation of a new organizational culture plan with curiosity, collaboration and purpose. Use an expert process, expert model, and culture experts objectively supporting the team. Align the culture with the desired mental models and behaviors of the most senior leaders (assuming the most senior leaders represent the ideal culture attributes – if they don’t then we obviously need to have a different conversation – we will need to work on that ASAP.)

 
4. Avoid theoretical approaches and work hand in hand with business execution – think of this work as a culture prototype in the context of business. Implement a culture champions program to model culture throughout the organization and continuously gather real-time feedback. Pay close attention to communications coming from global and their impact on regional and local markets. The volume of global communications from different departments can be overwhelming and result in a lack of focus locally. Make sure communications are aligned behind a common vision for priorities
5. Measure the culture progress by identifying tangible metrics that allow for assessing the degree of progress.
CASE STUDY

In March the World Happiness Report for 2019 was published and the outcomes were quite discouraging. Negative feelings such as worry, sadness and anger increased by 27 percent between 2010 and 2018 and overall global happiness went down. One chapter of the report is titled, “The sad state of happiness in the United States and the role of digital media”. Happiness and well-being have been on a slow decline since 2000.
Several explanations, including decline in social capital and social support, as well as an increase in substance abuse and obesity, are cited as causes for the decline. This report and research suggest there is another explanation for this decline. Americans are making a fundamental shift in how they spend their leisure time. A large amount of time is spent interacting with electronic devices and this may have a direct link to unhappiness. Time spent in beneficial activities are now used for screen time. There is a decline in face-to-face time and sleep. This has caused a decline in well-being and may also explain the decline in happiness.
On a scale from 1 (unhappy) to 5 (extremely happy), how would you rate your happiness?
If you rated yourself below a 4 it might be time to give your life the “Marie Kondo” treatment. Marie Kondo or KonMari, a Japanese author and consultant, has taken the United States by storm with her book, “The Life-Changing Magic Of Tidying Up” and the recent Netflix series, “Tidying Up With Marie Kondo.”
How can we take some of KonMarie’s lessons and techniques and apply them to life?
Marie suggests that, before you start tidying, you practice some gratitude. Here are some guiding questions:

  • What am I grateful for today?
  • What am I grateful for in my life?
  • Who am I grateful for?

 
The main premise of KonMarie’s book is to tidy up by asking yourself “Does this item spark or bring me joy?” If it does, you keep it and if it doesn’t, you say, “Thank you” and toss or donate it.
 

“To truly cherish the things that are important to you, you must first discard those that outlived their purpose.”

 
Let’s start!
As a first step, try to connect to your personal values. Values are principles or standards of behavior; they are one’s judgment of what is important in life.
Examples of values include: integrity, freedom, love, kindness, commitment, accountability, perseverance, etc.
Write down your top three values and then answer these questions:

  • Are you currently living according to those values?
  • Is your behavior aligned with your values?

 
Work
Think for a few moments about your job, the work you do and ask yourself some of these questions:

  • What am I grateful for in this job? (Yes, we start with gratitude!)
  • Are the values of the company I work for aligned with my personal values?
  • What is the purpose of the company I work for and do I feel connected to that purpose?
  • Am I excited to go to work in the morning?
  • Does my work spark joy for me?

 
If you answered yes to all those questions, that’s awesome.
If you had a few nos, unlike KonMarie, who suggests you toss the items, I am not suggesting you should quit your job.
The purpose of this exercise is to give you some insight into where there might be some unhappiness. Now that you have identified the problem, you can take some corrective action and do something about it.
 

“If you are not part of the problem, you cannot be part of the solution.”

 
Social circle (e.g. friends and family)
Reflect on the people you surround yourself with:

  • What am I grateful for when it comes to my social circle?
  • Who are my cheerleaders and supporters?
  • Who might be holding me back?
  • Who are the friends who are always negative?
  • Which friendships are aligned with my values, and which ones aren’t?
  • Which of my friends bring me joy, and which don’t?

 
Again, I am not suggesting you end your friendships. All these people came into your life for a reason. This exercise serves as a way to take inventory of how and with whom you spend your time.
As a breast cancer survivor, this process happened almost organically for me. There were those who stayed with me throughout the process and those who became invisible and disappeared.
 
Time
We just never seem to have enough of it. When was the last time you took a tally of how you spend your time?
Think about the last week and write down how your time was allocated each day. Working, exercise, family, volunteering, school, writing, etc.
In addition, if your phone has the capability, check how much “screen time” you had over the course of a week.

  • What am I grateful for when it comes to time?
  • What patterns can I identify in my time tally?
  • Is my time allocation aligned with my values?
  • Where did I “waste” time?
  • How would I like to allocate my time?
  • What time sparks joy for me?

 
Remember the self-rating about your happiness at the beginning of the article? Would you change it now that you have read this article?
Reflecting on your work, social circles and use of time is there anything that stood out? Anything you would do differently?
Here are some powerful questions to ask yourself about your happiness:

  • What will I stop doing?
  • What will I start doing?
  • What will I continue doing?

In the summer of 2017, I became one of eight. In the US, one in eight women will get diagnosed with breast cancer and I was now one of them. At age 40, I was diagnosed with Stage 2 breast cancer.
Life changes dramatically when you’re diagnosed with breast cancer. Suddenly you go from joyfully going about your life to being faced with your own mortality. In the blink of an eye, you are on board a frightening roller-coaster ride and you have no idea how or when it will end.
In just a few weeks, I had to make decisions that impacted directly on the rest of my life. And fighting this awful illness taught me priceless skills.
 
Seek input and advice
I am not a cancer expert. Before I was diagnosed, I didn’t have the slightest notion of what having cancer even means. I researched online, consulted with doctors, friends and others to make the most informed decision possible. When you’re faced with making life altering decisions, you need to rely on input from others.
As a leader, you have a great amount of knowledge, but you cannot be an expert on everything. You need those around you to help you make a more informed decision. Be curious about what you might be missing. Include your team, peers and others in big decisions. Operating in a silo can be detrimental to your business because you set yourself up to miss ideas and solutions you cannot see yet.
At the same time, being curious will help your team feel more included and feel like they are a part of the decisions you make. This, in turn, will create more ownership and will increase your likelihood of success.
 
Be present
Life is precious. A statement you hear often, but it becomes much more real if you understand that your life could end sooner than you anticipate. The average person is probably not thinking about when they’re going to die. As a cancer patient, it is very easy to get caught in the stories of your mind. What if I die? What if chemo doesn’t work? What if the cancer comes back? I had such a nice life, now my life will never be the same. All those statements are either contemplating the future or reminiscing about the past. What they’re not focusing on, is the here and now. If you get caught up in your stories, you miss out on what is right in front of you. Appreciate what’s happening in the present moment. Savor every moment with your family and friends. Appreciate your surroundings, the weather and nature. Feel the sun on your skin, the sand between your toes. I would ask myself on a daily basis if I was being present and in the moment, and if I was stuck in the past or future I would redirect myself to the present. It requires constant practice, but it continues to make my life so much richer.
Applying presence to your interactions with your team, employees and family can change the way you work. Have you ever been in a meeting where you felt like you were really heard? What did that feel like? It was probably because the other person gave you their full attention. Being present goes beyond just listening. You need to be tuned in to the other person. What are the non-verbal cues they transmit? Can you stay in the moment, and not let your mind wander to the next meeting or the previous meeting you were in? Listening to your breath and observing your body can quickly connect you to the present. Do you feel the ground under your feet supporting you, or the warmth of the sun coming through the window?
 
Positive attitude
I made a conscious choice to not let cancer consume my life. I accepted that it is now part of who I am and always will be. I did not want to become the disease. This was something I observed while in the hospital with other patients. They would be so down and negative. I decided that was not going to be me. I’m a strong believer in positive psychology and that the positive energy you put out in the universe will support you. I was going to do everything in my power to beat this disease. Even if it doesn’t work out in the end, I can be at peace that I did everything I could control. It’s all in the attitude. It’s not easy to remain positive at all times, but you can choose not to let negativity encroach on your life.
There is a lot of negativity in the work place. Disengaged employees, upset customers, company results not meeting expectations and many more. As a leader, you have a great responsibility to remain positive and look at each obstacle with a glass half full attitude. I do not mean the cheerleader who is rah rah-ing, but a leader who can change their mindset and look at things from a positive angle, even if the circumstances themselves might not be positive. This requires a leader who understands that what you can control is only how you respond to a situation, instead of letting the situation control you. Who do you choose to be?
 
Self-care
You might be surprised, but self-care is not implied when facing cancer. You are on the hamster wheel of continuous doctor’s appointments, treatments and managing side effects. You cannot simply take a day off from cancer. I decided that cancer was not going to consume my life and I tried to keep my life as normal and as regular as possible. This included going on the cruise I had already booked in the middle of my chemotherapy (with the doctor’s permission, of course). I love to travel and discover the world, and this is something that allows me to disconnect from my day to day. So when I had the opportunity to travel, I did. It took my mind off the daily trips to the hospital for a little while. It allowed me to recharge. Self-care also includes saying no to friends and family when they want to meet up, go out or come by. You are not being selfish or rude. Healing from cancer takes a great deal of effort and you are the number one priority. You need to put yourself first.
I learned that there is more to life than work. Before cancer, I would often prioritize work over other things, including my husband and family. Work is only a part of life and although it might, at the surface, seem that work is the most important. I can tell you, it’s not. I’m not saying you need to stop working the way you are, but maybe consider where it is on the priority list of your life. Are you prioritizing staying late at the office over dinner with your partner? What would it take to say no to a last-minute request that would require you to work on the weekend? Do you check the perceived urgency of a request? Self-care is about creating boundaries. It will take some time to set those boundaries. It’s not going to happen overnight, but little by little, you can control how you are spending your time and with whom. Remember, you are a leader in your organization and your employees and teams follow your lead. If you respond to emails on the weekend, they will feel the need to do the same.
 
Take responsibility for what is in your control
I discovered that there are a lot of possibilities for how to experience cancer treatment. You can choose to follow along with the process and let it all happen or take control and manage your disease.
From the get go, I wanted to make sure I had the right doctors for me. We went into each doctor’s appointment with an interview mindset. How do I feel about this doctor? Are they taking their time with me? Are they creating a connection with me or am I just a number on a chart? Taking this stance created a real sense of control. I didn’t feel comfortable with all my doctors, so I worked with the insurance provider to find another one.
Another example was during the chemotherapy I discovered that you are assigned a random nurse every week or treatment round. I could have just gone along with this process. Instead, I asked to be assigned the same nurse whenever possible and this was not a problem at all. It made my treatment experience so much better. We created a routine that made it much easier for both of us.
Are there any skills, abilities, attitudes, capabilities, anything you want or need to improve? What if you create a list of those things? What would you include? Go one by one and reflect on each. Which of those are under your control and which are not? By being in control I mean that you, as a leader, can intervene and modify the situation instead of one that you cannot change (e.g. economic crisis). If you have the right mental model you’ll realize that there are a lot of things that you can change. For example, an employee on your team who is underperforming. Have you done something to improve the employee’s performance? An option could be to sit down with them and explain what are your expectations and for them to understand what they can do to deliver better results. Are they even aware they are not performing as expected? Have you done as much as you can to support them to reach their performance potential? These things are under your control.
As I mentioned previously, there’re also things beyond your control, what do you do with those? Blaming the outside could make you right, but will leaves you impotent or unable to intervene or change any situation, it’s like waiting for the external factors to decide for you. Remember, you can always chose how to respond to any situation. The question is, what choices do you have?
Having cancer is something beyond my control, something I cannot change. I can, however, choose how to respond to it.